9. Ma the far Cass (Part Three)
Posted by Neille at
I’d like to draw to your attention, if I may, to the beauty of the world, the philanthropic tenderness of human nature and the enraptured sense of optimism with which we can move forward into an auspicious, bountiful and prosperous future.
But that’s not gonna happen. This place is a dump. So here’s a list of some more shit that ruins what would be an otherwise delightful time spent on the capacious, pristine, luxurious London Underground transportation network. In no particular order:
Advertisers
It has been a pleasure to play in front of large billboards advertising everything from sports lingerie made by children, through Ascot top hats and marketing Expos in Milton Keynes to sweatshop toys, trainers worn by Rolls-Royce owning teenagers, insurance assurance and “If you would like your ad placed here, please visit www…” And Mama Mia. And Glee.
I must apologise to the 20-60 people an hour that have tried taking photos of these advertising boards over the years, with musicians thoughtlessly standing in the way.
Thankfully, the company responsible for these advertisements (who ought to remain nameless (though it’s actually Exterion media (UK) Limited (84, Theobald’s Road, London WC1X 8NL (0800 8085 619) www.exterionmedia.com))) realised that people weren’t being exposed enough to their shameful threats, sorry, their beautiful pictures, and, in a few particularly prime west-end places, moved the musicians out of the way.
Curiously, it doesn’t seem to have lasted very long. No-one’s really moved. And no-one’s really saying anything about it. I don’t know if it was the fact that it made the news and was thus broadcast on the telly by two very eloquent ambassadors for the collective. I don’t know if it’s anything to do with the 20-60 photo-takers and countless videocam-persons per hour that chose to continue filming the busker rather than the advert. Maybe Exterion just realised that no-one really gives a shit. Who knows?
Thank you if you followed, signed or even noticed the case of Busker Vs Advertising Hoarder recently. Common sense has prevailed, to an extent, for now.
Charities
Those annoying feminists, nerds, southerners and out of work actors that stand at the bottom of escalators, shaking their booty-buckets, bullying you into contributing coins to their worthy cause, be it Aid for Returning Soldiers to England, Collection for Ugandan and Nigerian Terminators or Save the Children… I know it may seem an act of benevolence to make a donation to a worthy cause. But, obviously, when I’m busking, I prefer that worthy cause to be me. Don’t judge me; it stands to reason.
And far be it from me to berate you for chucking a quid in their bucket… Just bear in mind it may take another 800,000 or so of those quids, just to pay the top boss. And they have boards, even the smaller ones. A CFO, a COO or a CMO may earn similar salaries to the CEO or the Chairman. You’re talking six or seven figures to be paid to the directors before even a penny goes to feeding albino, mixed-race, blind, autistic, starving amputees. Perhaps over ten million contributions just to pay the dozen fat cats. Just saying. I don’t want to get too deep in dishing the dirt / explaining myself, so I’m just going to leave some stuff here that I found with ease on the interweb. Just stuff you should think about when you choose your charities. Skim through it. But don’t run off, I haven’t finished yet.
The Chief Executives Survey 2015 is based on the Charity 100 Index, which is drawn from the list of registered charities but attempts to exclude organisations not normally considered part of the voluntary sector. However, average chief executive pay is inflated by four very high earners, mostly at medical charities. The average pay falls sharply to £152,000 when these individuals are excluded from the mix.
The highest paid individuals
The highest paid chief executive was David Mobbs of Nuffield Health who earned between £780,000 and £790,000. The top ten earners are as follows:
- David Mobbs, Nuffield Health. Pay range: £780,000-£790,000
- Paul Holdom, London Clinic Trustees. Pay range: £390,000-£400,000
- Jeremy Farrar, Wellcome Trust. Pay: £394,000
- Simon Cooke, Marie Stopes. Pay range: £370,000-£380,000
- Michael Anderson, CIFF (UK). Pay range: £360,000-£370,000
- Gil Baldwin, St Andrew’s Healthcare, Pay: £343,000
- Peter Vicary-Smith, Consumers’ Association. Pay range: £330,000-£340,000
- Nigel Fine, Institution of Engineering. Pay range: £320,000-£330,000
- Alex Beard, Royal Opera House. Pay: £250,000
- Harpal Kumar, Cancer Research UK. Pay range: £230,000-£240,000
Top 100 charity chief executives earn an average of £167,000
The top 10 highest-paying charities:
- London Clinic £850,000 to £860,000
- Nuffield Health £770,000 to £780,000
- St Andrew’s Healthcare £750,000 to £760,000
- Wellcome Trust £590,000 to £600,000
- Royal Opera House £566,000
- Anchor Trust £420,000 to £430,000
- City & Guilds £400,000 to £410,000
- Legal Education Foundation* £360,000 to £370,000
- Children’s Investment Fund Foundation £350,000 to £360,000
- Church Commissioners for England £330,000 to £340,000
Source: Third Sector Magazine
Stuart Earley, the head of the Scottish SPCA (which looks after the welfare of animals north of the border) receives £216,000 a year. He has pointed out in his defence that he does not get the same perks as David Cameron, who, however, is paid only £142,000 a year.
Over in America, David Miliband, brother of Ed and former Blairite shooting star, pockets an annual £407,000 as head of the International Rescue Committee, which is far more than he ever earned as a Cabinet minister. In 2015, his organisation received a share of a £3 million grant from our own lavish Department for International Development.
Daily Fail. 2016
The Autism Spectrum Disorder Foundation provides assistance to families with members on the autism spectrum. However, Charity Navigator notes nearly 85 percent of funds go to overheads.
Salary survey: charity chief executives’ pay sorted alphabetically
|
Charity |
Chief executive |
Latest salary in £s (plus benefits but excluding pensions) |
Salary in £s for the previous year |
Pay rise (%) |
Income £m |
Amount in £s spent on chief exec’s pay for every £1,000 of income |
|
Action for Blind People *1 |
Stephen Remington |
76,500 |
65,000 |
|
21.0 |
3.64 |
|
ActionAid |
Salil Shetty |
86,527 |
84,173 |
2.8 |
73.0 |
1.19 |
|
Addaction *2 |
Peter Martin *3 |
65,000 |
75,000 |
|
15.0 |
4.33 |
|
Age Concern England |
Gordon Lishman |
94,000 |
89,000 |
5.6 |
64.0 |
1.47 |
|
Alzheimer’s Society |
Harry Cayton *4 |
74,000 |
70,459 |
5.0 |
27.4 |
2.70 |
|
Arthritis Care *2 |
William Butler |
65,000 |
65,000 |
|
11.7 |
5.56 |
|
Arthritis Research Campaign *1 |
Fergus Logan *5 |
76,000 |
65,000 |
|
26.1 |
2.91 |
|
Association for International Cancer Research |
Derek Napier |
45,000 |
37,500 |
20.0 |
15.1 |
2.98 |
|
Barnardo’s *1 |
Roger Singleton |
105,027 |
95,000 |
|
157.6 |
0.67 |
|
Battersea Dogs Home *2 |
Duncan Green |
85,000 |
75,000 |
|
11.1 |
7.66 |
|
BBC Children in Need |
Martina Milburn |
62,000 |
60,000 |
3.3 |
28.0 |
2.21 |
|
Blue Cross *2 |
John Rutter |
65,000 |
65,000 |
|
19.2 |
3.39 |
|
British and Foreign Bible Society *1 |
James Catford |
56,004 |
55,000 |
|
9.0 |
6.22 |
|
British Heart Foundation *2 |
Leslie Busk |
115,000 |
115,000 |
|
115.8 |
0.99 |
|
British Red Cross *2 |
Nicholas Young |
125,000 |
125,000 |
|
162.4 |
0.77 |
|
Cafod *2 |
Julian Filochowski |
55,000 |
55,000 |
|
30.7 |
1.79 |
|
Cancer Research UK *6 |
Paul Nurse |
140,000 |
|
|
305.8 |
0.46 |
|
Care International *2 |
Will Day |
65,000 |
65,000 |
|
47.0 |
1.38 |
|
Cats Protection League *2 |
Derek Conway |
75,000 |
75,000 |
|
20.3 |
3.69 |
|
ChildLine *2 |
Carole Easton *7 |
65,000 |
55,000 |
|
12.5 |
5.20 |
|
Children’s Society |
Bob Reitemeier *7 *8 |
75,000 |
64,000 |
17.2 |
42.8 |
1.75 |
|
Christian Aid *9 |
Daleep Mukarji |
51,406 |
48,790 |
5.4 |
58.5 |
0.88 |
|
Christian Vision *10 |
Terry Bennett |
|
45,000 |
|
|
|
|
Church Mission Society |
Tim Dakin |
35,024 |
33,494 |
4.6 |
8.5 |
4.12 |
|
Civil Service Benevolent Fund *11 |
Rosemary Doidge |
55,000 |
55,000 |
2.0 |
8.0 |
6.88 |
|
Crisis *1 |
Shaks Ghosh |
64,500 |
45,000 |
|
5.5 |
11.73 |
|
Cystic Fibrosis Research *2 |
Rosie Barnes *5 |
75,000 |
75,000 |
|
7.0 |
10.71 |
|
Diabetes UK *2 |
Paul Streets *12 |
75,000 |
75,000 |
|
21.6 |
3.47 |
|
Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fund *13 |
Andrew Purkis |
78,740 |
77,500 |
1.6 |
4.0 |
19.69 |
|
Donkey Sanctuary |
Elisabeth Svendsen |
94,427 |
91,900 |
2.7 |
16.2 |
5.83 |
|
Elizabeth Finn Trust *2 |
Jonathan Welfare |
75,000 |
75,000 |
|
16.7 |
4.49 |
|
Encams *14 |
Alan Woods |
78,000 |
81,500 |
-4.3 |
10.0 |
7.80 |
|
English National Opera *2 |
Nicholas Payne |
105,000 |
105,000 |
|
30.6 |
3.43 |
|
Erskine Hospital *1 |
Martin Gibson |
72,000 |
65,000 |
|
11.4 |
6.32 |
|
Freemasons’ Grand Charity *2 |
Laura Chapman |
65,000 |
55,000 |
|
12.1 |
5.37 |
|
Guide Dogs for the Blind Association |
Geraldine Peacock |
90,000 |
90,000 |
0.0 |
41.7 |
2.16 |
|
Help the Aged *2 |
Michael Lake |
95,000 |
85,000 |
|
74.9 |
1.27 |
|
Jewish Care *2 |
Jeremy Oppenheim *15 |
125,000 |
125,000 |
|
43.4 |
2.88 |
|
Leonard Cheshire *2 |
Bryan Dutton |
95,000 |
85,000 |
|
115.2 |
0.82 |
|
Leprosy Mission *10 |
Warren Lancaster |
|
45,000 |
|
6.6 |
|
|
Leukaemia Research Fund *2 |
Douglas Osborne |
65,000 |
55,000 |
|
16.2 |
4.01 |
|
Macmillan Cancer Relief *1 |
Peter Cardy |
100,000 |
95,000 |
|
78.6 |
1.27 |
|
Marie Curie Cancer Care |
Tom Hughes-Hallett |
90,000 |
90,000 |
0.0 |
83.0 |
1.08 |
|
Marie Stopes International |
Tim Black |
125,230 |
111,160 |
12.7 |
39.0 |
3.21 |
|
Mencap *2 |
Fred Heddell *16 |
95,000 |
75,000 |
|
110.6 |
0.86 |
|
Methodist Relief and Development Fund |
Kirsty Smith |
31,000 |
31,011 |
0.0 |
1.6 |
19.38 |
|
Mind |
Richard Brook |
72,800 |
63,600 |
14.5 |
15.2 |
4.79 |
|
Motor Neurone Disease Association *17 |
George Levvy |
65,000 |
65,000 |
2.9 |
6.9 |
9.42 |
|
Multiple Sclerosis Society *2 |
Mike O’Donovan *18 |
85,000 |
95,000 |
|
28.6 |
2.97 |
|
National Art Collections Fund |
David Barrie |
100,000 |
90,000 |
11.1 |
7.1 |
14.08 |
|
National Asthma Campaign *2 |
Donna Covey *19 |
55,000 |
55,000 |
|
10.1 |
5.45 |
|
National Canine Defence League *2 |
Clarissa Baldwin |
65,000 |
65,000 |
|
27.7 |
2.35 |
|
National Galleries of Scotland *20 |
Timothy Clifford |
62,500 |
60,306 |
|
13.3 |
4.70 |
|
National Trust *2 |
Fiona Reynolds |
115,000 |
105,000 |
|
303.6 |
0.38 |
|
National Trust for Scotland *2 |
Robin Pellew |
85,000 |
65,000 |
|
31.3 |
2.72 |
|
NCH Action for Children *1 |
Deryk Mead *7 |
116,384 |
95,000 |
|
150.0 |
0.78 |
|
Norwood |
Norma Brier |
85,000 |
85,000 |
0.0 |
25.0 |
3.40 |
|
National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children *2 |
Mary Marsh |
105,000 |
85,000 |
|
90.6 |
1.16 |
|
Oxfam |
Barbara Stocking |
75,000 |
75,000 |
0.0 |
189.0 |
0.40 |
|
Parkinson’s Disease Society *2 |
Linda Kelly |
75,000 |
55,000 |
|
11.8 |
6.36 |
|
People’s Dispensary for Sick Animals *2 |
Marilyn Rydstrom *21 |
95,000 |
85,000 |
|
63.1 |
1.50 |
|
Plan International *1 |
Marie Staunton |
67,000 |
65,000 |
|
29.0 |
2.31 |
|
Prince’s Trust *22 |
Tom Shebeare |
|
90,234 |
|
|
|
|
Rathbone Training *23 |
Chris Frost |
75,000 |
75,000 |
2.5 |
34.9 |
2.15 |
|
Royal Air Force Benevolent Fund *1 |
David Cousins |
69,000 |
65,000 |
|
23.3 |
2.96 |
|
Royal British Legion *2 |
Ian Townsend |
95,000 |
95,000 |
|
58.5 |
1.62 |
|
Royal Masonic Benevolent Institution *22 |
Peter Gray |
|
85,000 |
|
|
|
|
Royal National Institute for Deaf People *1 *24 |
John Lowe |
92,500 |
95,000 |
|
44.0 |
2.10 |
|
Royal National Institute for the Blind |
Ian Bruce *7 |
95,185 |
90,495 |
|
84.8 |
1.12 |
|
Royal National Lifeboat Institution *2 |
Andrew Freemantle |
105,000 |
105,000 |
|
115.7 |
0.91 |
|
Royal Opera House Covent Garden *25 |
Tony Hall |
205,000 |
165,000 |
24.2 |
64.7 |
3.17 |
|
Royal Society for the Protection of Birds *2 |
Graham Wynne |
85,000 |
85,000 |
|
74.0 |
1.15 |
|
Royal Star and Garter Home *2 |
Lynn McDougall |
85,000 |
55,000 |
|
11.9 |
7.14 |
|
Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals *2 |
Peter Davies *26 |
85,000 |
95,000 |
|
79.6 |
1.07 |
|
Salvation Army |
Alex Hughes *27 |
10,540 |
10,258 |
2.7 |
183.0 |
0.06 |
|
Samaritans |
Simon Armson |
66,241 |
64,312 |
3.0 |
7.1 |
9.33 |
|
Sargent Cancer Care for Children |
Siun Cranny *25 |
71,000 |
70,000 |
1.4 |
7.0 |
10.14 |
|
Save the Children |
Mike Aaronson |
85,000 |
82,002 |
3.7 |
110.8 |
0.77 |
|
Scope *2 |
Richard Brewster *28 |
95,000 |
85,000 |
|
93.2 |
1.02 |
|
Sense *1 |
Tony Best |
67,000 |
65,000 |
|
47.4 |
1.41 |
|
Shelter |
Adam Sampson |
73,000 |
68,000 |
7.4 |
34.2 |
2.13 |
|
Sightsavers *29 |
Richard Porter |
65,000 |
68,000 |
3.0 |
25.6 |
2.54 |
|
SSAFA Forces Help *22 |
Peter Sheppard |
|
75,000 |
|
33.4 |
|
|
St Christopher’s Hospice *2 |
Barbara Monroe |
75,000 |
75,000 |
|
11.9 |
6.30 |
|
St Dunstans *2 |
Robert Leader |
75,000 |
65,000 |
|
15.1 |
4.97 |
|
St John Ambulance *2 |
Roger Holmes |
85,000 |
85,000 |
|
58.1 |
1.46 |
|
Stroke Assocation *2 |
Margaret Goose |
55,000 |
55,000 |
|
13.9 |
3.96 |
|
Sue Ryder Care |
Iain Henderson |
78,600 |
77,300 |
1.7 |
40.0 |
1.97 |
|
Tear Fund *2 |
Doug Balfour |
65,000 |
65,000 |
|
39.2 |
1.66 |
|
The Wildlife Trusts *22 |
Simon Lyster |
|
55,000 |
|
|
|
|
Unicef |
David Bull |
68,625 |
64,050 |
7.1 |
34.6 |
1.98 |
|
United Response *1 |
Su Sayer |
84,144 |
85,000 |
|
37.3 |
2.26 |
|
Voluntary Services Overseas |
Mark Goldring |
65,000 |
61,000 |
6.6 |
33.0 |
1.97 |
|
Wateraid *2 |
Ravi Narayanan |
55,000 |
55,000 |
|
17.1 |
3.22 |
|
Woodland Trust *2 |
Mike Townsend |
65,000 |
65,000 |
|
16.0 |
4.06 |
|
World Cancer Research Fund UK *30 |
Marilyn Gentry |
80,000 |
80,000 |
0.0 |
|
|
|
World Vision UK *2 |
Charles Clayton *31 |
65,000 |
65,000 |
|
32.9 |
1.98 |
|
Worldwide Fund for Nature UK |
Robert Napier |
90,000 |
89,000 |
1.1 |
34.0 |
2.65 |
|
Youth Hostel Association *1 *32 |
Roger Clarke |
62,000 |
75,000 |
|
36.9 |
1.68 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Averages |
|
79,805 |
74,327 |
5.0 |
48.3 |
4.49 |
http://www.theguardian.com/society/salarysurvey/table/0,12406,1042677,00.html
Recycling
This is a public service announcement.
Recycling is a worthy inclusion, I feel, as the refuse collection process on the tube needs a mention. I don’t see much recycling. I’m on nodding terms with a number of cleaners at a number of stations, great guys. But I’ve seen them at work. I know how long their shifts can be. And I’ve heard the way they’re spoken to, by some of the station staff. The guys who clean up after you do not have an easy time of it, always on their feet and often treated like shit. And I’m guessing their directive is a simple “Bin it!”
I’ve seen milkshakes and vomit alike thrown into clear bags, coating newspapers and beer cans aplenty. I don’t think there’s much recycling going on backstage. Just bear this in mind when you leave stuff underground, even if it’s with the best of intentions. I once rescued a brand new copy of Anoushka Beazley’s ‘The Good Enough Mother’, part of a ‘Books on the Underground’ promotion. It would have been binned, as other copies were. And it’s a novel I cannot recommend enough.
So take your beloved book to a book exchange bookcase, there’s one in Stockwell station. Or leave it on a park bench, early afternoon, on a bright, fresh day in Springtime. Enjoy it. Share it. Don’t bin it.
And avoid suffering the quandary of where to leave your barely-read copy of the Evening Standard by simply not picking one up in the first place. You already know it’s not worth it.
But finally, while we’re on the subject – the reason I wanted to include recycling in my final rant: I was waiting for a bus on Camden High Street and a chap came along with his brush and refuse trolley, I assume he works for the council. I hope he does. I hope it’s not a hobby. Anyhoo, he emptied the general waste bin into a sack, tied it up, popped it in the trolley and turned his attention to the affixed recycling bin… You’re ahead of me, aren’t you? He did exactly the same with the recycling. Same colour bag. All heading for landfill. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a first-world problem. Just so’s you know.
Phew! Well, that was a barrel of chuckles, wasn’t it? I’ll try and lighten up a bit for the next issue of:
Buskabout! – The Busker’s Guide to Busking!™
…and we’ll laugh in reminiscence of some Busking Catastrophes, including such hilarious moments as the octogenarian pearly king falling down two flights of stairs onto a guide dog at Victoria; the teenage pickpocket who, when rumbled, legged it along the platform, tripped and fell immediately under a train; and the drunken power-dressed sales executive who punched two small children in the face before being tasered in her vajayjay.
So, until then… thanks and all that. If you want to read parts1 and/or 2, click here
If you want to read the first chapter of Just a Busker, click here
And if you want to watch drunk people falling over… www.youtube.com/watch?v=-op-vJqNR_Y
Facebook me, yeah? x