2. So. Erm. Part One

First question – Do you have what it takes to be a busker? Let’s find out: 

 

Are you a reasonably good musician? 

Are you a little bit strange? A little bit? 

Do you find a tear in your eye when you hear a good piece of music? A skip to your heartbeat? A tingle in your pants? 

Are you a bit unemployable? 

Maybe a bit dyslexic? Autistic? Artistic? Overly sensitive? 

Maybe you run an office and need to show off every now and then to stop yourself going crazy from the boredom? 

Or do you find it impossible to work for the man? Or any cnut, for that matter? 

But do you still dream of introducing the world to a new perception, a novel mode of thinking that will revolutionise the way we live, the paradigm we operate, the essence of existence, to give people an epiphanic realisation that the only way forward for the human lack of evolution is to understand that we must follow the path of love and peace, acceptance and forgiveness, tolerance and understanding, Country and Western…? 

Or maybe you’re broke? 

If you’ve answered yes to any of the above, you’re in with a chance. Just so you know. But a few more questions first. 

Are you lazy? 

Do you smell bad? 

Do you find it difficult to get on with other people? 

If you’ve answered yes to any of the above, you might not be what we’re looking for. You’d have to hide it really well. Just so you know. 

If you’re looking for a get rich quick scheme, you’re going to be disappointed. And if you’re looking for a job where you turn up when and where you want, and do as much as you fancy, you’re probably looking in the wrong place. Just so you know. 

 

This whole busking thing is a bit more organised and ordered than you’d expect, I suspect. For something so seemingly anarchic, it’s actually rather officious and bureaucratic. There are lots of rules, many of which are ignored, some of which are self-imposed, most of which are utterly pointless, but all of which should be known, should you wish to stand a chance of making it work. 

 

We’ll let that sink in for a while, for what it’s worth… Whilst I work out whatever the fuck it is I’m supposed to be imparting. But don’t forget to return soon, for the next unmissable instalment of: 

 

Buskabout! The Busker’s Guide to Busking!